There are three things you need to know about me.
1. I'm a terrible driver
2. I have no sense of direction
3. I avoid driving at all costs.
If it runs on a motor and operates on wheels, I will avoid driving you.
And if a diesel truck is driving next to me on the freeway, you better believe I'll hit that brake faster than you can say, "hot dog on a stick."
Don't ask me to give you directions, either. I will get you lost like I am 98 percent of the time when I'm on the road.
One time I drove to Turlock to visit my family, and instead of making it to my hometown in the usual four hours it normally takes me, it took me six hours because I ended up in the middle of an orchard field surrounded by cattle.
I still don't know what went wrong there. I think I must have taken the wrong exit or something.
Anyway, I've been living in Santa Clarita for about four months now, and one of the hardest things I've had to deal with besides being away from my family... is being able to get around town.
You would think that four months is a reasonable amount of time for me to be able to drive to work or a grocery store.
But no, I can't even do that. If I don't use my phone's navigation system I would probably end up in San Diego or another orchard field.
Let's talk about parking now, my other favorite thing to do in the world...
Back when I lived in Turlock, I never had to worry about parallel parking. Like ever.
Since I moved to Santa Clarita, I've had to learn how to maneuver and squeeze my tiny little Toyota in between other cars almost every night.
Still haven't gotten the parking mastered, so whenever I find myself in a tough pickle, I ask my roommates or a kind Samaritan to park my car for me.
The struggle is real my friends.